From the depth of my heart!

We all have danced with shadows and dined with skeletons.
So I will cut to the chase.
If one praises themselves as your friend but never makes any sacrifice for you,
it’s a lie.

They haven’t bled a drop and they know nothing of the true feeling of friendship.
The same way is love.
If one so sweetly rings and sings of love.
So tightly holds and hugs your fears.
So warmly kisses and deeps to the depth.
If one repeatedly breaks your heart,
pleads for forgiveness and paints your sky blue with colors
But if one never takes any action to show you the real meaning of their words,
read my lips.
YOU ARE POURING YOUR HEART IN A HOLLOW POT.

The Limit to Unconditional Love.

Having questions about your relationship?

(There are many types of love but in this case I am referring to intimacy).

Love is as old as humanity itself and oftentimes, we believers in love promise to love unconditionally.

Through words and actions we convey our intentions and meaning of our promise of a true and enduring love.

A love that is not shaded by any stain of envy or jealousy, holding back or overreaction.

We promise absolute openness, unlimited support of our partners in all their endeavours.

We pledge to be good listeners.

We are by default, social and economic partners though by no means political but we cannot rule out the role of coincidence.

We promise to forgive and move on as if nothing ever happened or at least we imply it in our promise of unconditional love.

But what really happens to the good will and well intended promises that we believers assert especially in the early days of our meetings?

Please read the following two scenarios and reflect upon them. Think of the different ways they could be applied in your own life before you continue reading.

Scenario one:

Julian was seated in the kitchen reading Sartre’s existential philosophy when her boyfriend walked in and drew some water for drinking. Afterall he was already drawing water, she requested him to serve her a glass of water too. Julian’s boyfriend kept silent and simply walked out of the kitchen slamming the door behind him. Julian became sad and shouted aloud so that her boyfriend heard. “If it were me I would have served you water with pleasure even without you asking. I regret all those times that I have asked you if you wanted water or tea or whatever I was to have because you wouldn’t do the same for me even if I were dying.”

Scenario two:

John is a very open man. He tells his wife Linnet everything breathed on by the green and the dust. He wishes that Linnet would reciprocate this ‘good practice’ by telling him everything in her heart and on her mind: thoughts, feelings, rumours, plans and intentions mention it. Linnet on the other hand appreciates John for claiming that he tells her everything that he knows but she doesn’t oblige him to because as far as Linnet is concerned, every human being has a right to their privacy especially that of their thoughts including their intentions. As such, John always accuses Linnet of being secretive and lacking openness in their relationship. John sometimes goes to the extent of insinuating that Linnet maybe doesn’t love him as much as he loves her.

My own reflections will be found in the questions below.

I have personally interacted with both couples and they both claim to love each other unconditionally.

I will not deny, these two couples intensified my curiosity about the subject of true and unconditional love and I have been thinking.

  1. What really happens when one party continuously gives what they think is their very best but they are met by a wall of stone?
  2. How far are people usually willing to go before they meet their turning points?
  3. How far are you yourself prepared to go before you meet your own turning point?
  4. Have you extensively reflected upon your core differences as human beings: talk of your hobbies, levels of education, professional differences, social backgrounds, personalities traits, emotional intelligence, life’s expectations etc and how they come into play in your relationship?
  5. How long was the courtship: are your expectations being met or you are in for the shock of your life?
  6. Have you thought about how far you can continue living like that: I mean both your mental and physical health?
  7. Is the quality of your relationship affecting you in any known or perhaps unknown ways?
  8. Could you be under thinking or overthinking everything?
  9. Are there joyful moments in your relationship or is it all heartache?
  10. Do the joyful moments outweigh the sad ones and visa versa?
Joyful/sad moments

Or does the sum of it all balance of perfectly so you feel that as much as your partner behaves in a certain way sometimes, you also have your own demons in the closet and that he does wonderful breakfasts, he caters to your emotional needs and you can live with his occasional mischiefs?

A balance is good in my opinion what do you think?

10. The major question summing up my reflections is about your awareness. Are you actively aware of the impact of your relationship on your life? (refer to question.8 above).

11. If you could choose your partner again, would you choose the same person whom you are with today?

12. What is your relationship with these three words’ sentences? #I love you, #I am sorry, #Please forgive me, #Can we talk, #I am listening, #Tell me more (I want to hear you out), #Can I help?

13. Is there anything that you yourself are doing wrongly which you need to change and do better for your relationship’s sake

14. Are you having higher expectations on your partner and forgetting your own responsibility?

(Don’t forget what they say, it takes two to tangle. A tangle is a dance of two just like a love affair).

I am always grateful for your reading, comment, like, following or share.

Susan Kazooba

Love flows and floods

Love is what you feel when you are completely relaxed, unforced and effortless feelings of goodness tickle your heart.

They reach your brain, flow throughout your veins and in the end, they circurate your whole body.

When you feel blown away by emotions that you cannot help but laugh, with tears.

The circuration pushes your pours open. You are over flown by sweat, mucus, saliva and in extreme overwhem carbondioxide escapes out!

Unexpected fluids can gash out of your body too.

Honestly speaking, have you ever been colonised by love?

When that feeling comes, you have to be ready. You have to know the signs because you have to give way to them. 

If you didn’t know, the heart has a door which you must open and allow for the in and out-flow of love.

If the door is too hard and you can’t open it or your fail to open it in time, love will flow past you.

Love is like a river.

It’s determined, gentle and continous but if something happens to interupt along its way, say like delayed opening of the door or none opening, it will overflow, break brides and cause havock.

That is how floods, erosion, water falls and some landforms are created.

Mark you, a river can also totally divert its course and flow to another direction.

It can also divide its stream to flow in more than one directions, it can be seasonal and it can completely dry up.

With climate change, human action is at the centre of the rivers’ behaviour.

But I am curious about who you would blame, the human for his actions or the river for its behaviour?

The heart has a door and love is like a river. If you open your heart, it flows and floods.

By Kazooba Susan

Human ties – Blood ties

Wherever I am, is your home because we are a family.

Whoever I am is stronger because of you.

Our social bond whether by friendship or blood is nothing in emergency situations.

I am a social animal, end of discussion.

Anyone willing to spend time with me on mutually respectful human terms, quickly ascends the ladder of friendship and family.

I will not spend a life time waiting upon my sisters and brothers to go out with me while neighbours beg me in vain.

My mom to show me that she loves and cares yet my friend’s mom perfectly plays the part!

I am here now and I need love, care and human prescence here and now.

I will allow the social order to continue sustaining itself.

In real time and space, consider it a social loan, and pay it back to the other humans around you.

Just know I love you to the zenith and don’t be jealous.

That is just life playing out its best💖

Humanity is in us all if we let it. It keeps on giving least we resist. Let it take you. Let it overpower you.

You can be a foster family to a homeless child.

You can be a sister or brother to an orphan.

You can feed a hungry begger even just for a day.

You can shelter a homeless man or woman even just for a night.

A begger won’t bit if you stop for him/her.

A hug and a smile to a stranger can change their view of people forever.

Do your part for the betterment of our planet.

Strengthen human ties now🤲🏿

Come get me

I’m out in the rain.
Here without you.
It washes off ma cloth.
I’m trembling inside
I can’t stand without you.

Come get me.
I’ll not resist.
All in ma bare skin.
Trembling inside.
It’s hard without you.

Your body on mine.                            

All on ma mind.                                     Touching me right.
Holding me tight.
Loosening inside
It’s all about you.

By Kazooba Susan

                                  

Wounded but not Heart broken

What kind of a person are you?

You tell your friends that you broke my heart.

You think you have an audience but you are wrong.

The same people tell me that I made you who you are,

And that you’re nothing without me.

I taught you to walk.

You faked to run without my footprints laid before you.

I got a scar of your bad loving

But I am stronger without you.

So next time you meet your friends, tell then that you wounded and scarred me but I’m okay.

And I want you to be okay so you know what you missed!

There is always something to give if you look close enough.

Too often we look far in search of expensive material things to give which in the end are either unwanted or untimely or simply unaffordable by us.

We ignore timeless free gifts of life like hugs, kisses, smiles, cherished family moments and just a few warm words shared human to human.

Of course to some people family is the most important thing in life. How about you, what is the most important thing in your life?

I have heard all that talk about differences in priorities. Are you the kind who is always thinking and talking  about your priorities?

But how thorough have you examined your priorities or is it another word you use because it sounds trendy?

Do you ever take time to reflect about what really happens around you and how it all impacts your life; especially your social life?

Sure moments of affirmation of love from sibling to another, parent to child(children) and vice versa, extended relatives, friends, churchmates, schoolmates, workmates, intimate partners and all human to human connections.

Unfortunately, these significant moments which would have turned magical, pass us as we are busy pondering about non issues like; how cheap another girl’s dress was too short or another boy’s shirt was missing a button. Or what really is wrong with another person! Those are non issues yet not even a percentage of the total sum of useless things that we waste our precious time on.

I am an emotional person, not scared to express in words and gestures what I feel. To close friends and family, I am addicted, compelled by what and how I feel about them, to express in any form how I feel about them.

I never feel its too much because I want those people to know and understand that I do mean it when I say or indicate that I love them. I think that it helps to affirm to people how we feel about them when they are still alive. Maybe that is all they need to live a happier life and live longer. So just by opening your mouth and affirming what you feel for your parents, neighbours, friends and enemies, you could save their lives.

I therefore urge you to deliberately choose to make people especially those who matter to you the most happier and prolong their lives. It is however, unfortunate that many of us wait until we have to regret the chances we missed.

When we went to school especially secondary and university, we said love, sweetie, cutie, babz to almost every female member of our class or at least those who belonged to a certain circle. We all felt great in relationships with each other. It seemed like envy and jealousy never existed. We wanted each others best and we did encourage each other.

With social media now, it feels hilarious when a friend from the past gets in touch or their profile pops up on social media. We quickly want to get in touch and catch up. Second example; it is always a great feeling when I speak to my uncle Cyprian Mugasa and he says, “Take care. I love you”. Something my father was also found of when he lived.

I know that acquiring good habits is among the hardest things in life as compared to the bad ones. I have tried it many times when I tell people in my circle to tell others that they love them but they simply shy away and decline. The common feedback that I get is that they have never before told these people that they love them so it will be awkward.

Well, what is wrong with awkward? We all find ourselves in awkward situations all the time or don’t we?

Are we really human? If yes, then we must allow ourselves to feel awkward sometimes. Let our emotions flow freely and uninterrupted. Let us experiment with ourselves and see what really happens when what started as awkward repeats itself over a period of time.

Don’t you want to affect positively the lives of the people you love and care about? How far have you come by holding back?

Have you ever imagined how much better things would be if you were not holding back?

Love like other emotions is contegious. The more you give the more you get back and the bubble continues. I want you to imagine a first time mother. Holding all the other factors constant. Imagine that she planned this baby and she wants it more than life itself. She would do anything for it. How do you think it feels to be in that situation? That is love and most parents have it for their children. However, the world would be lucky if some children had just half of that for their parents. If this was a research I would definitely be interested in examining the cases of industrialised and non-industrialised worlds separately.

Have I said too much now?

If I have, then I hope you are saturated with the warmth of my intended meaning.

Hence;

I want you to learn to say this short sentence more often.

Not that I don’t appreciate the way, the timing and frequency when you say it.  But my concern is for all the times,

All the people you hold so close to your heart.

All the moments that would have turned magical and forever memorable.

Only if you said the magic words;

I love you.

By

Kazooba Susan

The warmth and presence of another human, any human at all, will remain the greatest connection to the very end of life no matter the level of robotic evolution.   

Fall in love not in a pithole.

Admire the heart not the body.

Consider the virtues before the height and the curves.

Critically assess someone’s life’s goal before you commit yourself for better or worse based on the pretty face.

Otherwise that honey pot in your chest you call a heart will cause you problems if you allow it to continue boiling uncovered.

You know what they say about love right? It is blind.

Do you really believe in such?

Personally I don’t and neither do I encourage you.

I believe that whoever said that lived Before Christ.

However, falling in Love After Christ is not the end goal but staying in it and making it sustainable amidst all the challenges of our time.

Cultivating a ground for a healthy relationship that builds not one that drains.

Having a partner who works for and envisions the growth of the relationship not one who looks for their own individual benefits.

Do you ever stop and question why your personal growth stagnated since you met this person!

Love is a result of a conscious decision made by sound minded persons who come together and commit to each other with clear goals.

It requires therefore that their eyes are wide open.

When it comes to love, I think that a person with bigger eyes would be better than a blind one.

Keep in mind that the subject of comparison is true love.

Otherwise mine are wide open and I am in love💖

so, listen to me on this, fall in love but not in a pithole and be careful because they say, not all that glitters is gold.

💃💘🕺

Kazooba Susan

Completely Human.

How do you know you are human when you never sweat?

How do you feel when instead of excusing yourself and sneezing, you block your nostrils and choke yourself. Just to remain cool before others?

And how do you even know you have feelings if you never cry?

How dare you not spit when something smells fishy!

When do you connect with your inner person if you never lose it and simply scream?

How do you go through life without going out of your way to taste new foods?

How do you really know that you’re completely human if you have never been crazy in love with somebody that you even forgot the time of the day?

Surely, how do you know?

This is how I know I am human. 

I cry when something real hurts my emotions.

Even my nose can run in the process and it’s ok.

Tears of joy roll down my eyes sometimes and I am not ashamed of it.

I spit when something smells.

I realise the gases when I feel the need to free my stomach.

I sneeze when nature calls.

I get goosebumps when I am overwhelmed.

Many times I catch myself smiling at past moments that brought me joy and I am sure of my sanity.

I laugh aloud when I get a good reason to.

I make passionate love to him because my body and soul say he is the one.

My heart bleeds when I see the sufferings of others.

Sincerely, I am human. 

Things some do and others don’t but all we humans aut to do.

Give and not expect anything in return.

Exercise  kindness without measure.

Be loyal for good reasons.

Remain faithful for the shake of our relationships.

There are things that are purely human and none is exempted:

We shed tears when we cry or get emotionally upset.

We bleed when we are cut or hurt and for us women even more.

We eat and it is a basic necessity.

We need clothing and shelter for warmth and privacy.

The need to belong drives us some times crazy and that is how serious it is.

We all need rest after hours of struggling through this life.

Mark you, we all struggle through life only degrees vary.

We all go to toilet or a pit latrine and bush for some. The thing is that we all excret.

So, no matter your level of education, wealth, health, family background, level of employment, marital status, religion, race, sex, age

number of children among others. Mention all those things you can influence and they can make you influential, truth remains, they don’t make you human. It is such little things as going to the toilet, which everybody by virtue of being human does but you want people to assume that your shithole is sealed, that make you truly human.

So, why treat each other so differently when these basics dictate otherwise.

Imagine the simple things that make all of us human.

Where is the humanity otherwise if we chose to strengthen the differences!

Chose Humanness today.