The Limit to Unconditional Love.

Having questions about your relationship?

(There are many types of love but in this case I am referring to intimacy).

Love is as old as humanity itself and oftentimes, we believers in love promise to love unconditionally.

Through words and actions we convey our intentions and meaning of our promise of a true and enduring love.

A love that is not shaded by any stain of envy or jealousy, holding back or overreaction.

We promise absolute openness, unlimited support of our partners in all their endeavours.

We pledge to be good listeners.

We are by default, social and economic partners though by no means political but we cannot rule out the role of coincidence.

We promise to forgive and move on as if nothing ever happened or at least we imply it in our promise of unconditional love.

But what really happens to the good will and well intended promises that we believers assert especially in the early days of our meetings?

Please read the following two scenarios and reflect upon them. Think of the different ways they could be applied in your own life before you continue reading.

Scenario one:

Julian was seated in the kitchen reading Sartre’s existential philosophy when her boyfriend walked in and drew some water for drinking. Afterall he was already drawing water, she requested him to serve her a glass of water too. Julian’s boyfriend kept silent and simply walked out of the kitchen slamming the door behind him. Julian became sad and shouted aloud so that her boyfriend heard. “If it were me I would have served you water with pleasure even without you asking. I regret all those times that I have asked you if you wanted water or tea or whatever I was to have because you wouldn’t do the same for me even if I were dying.”

Scenario two:

John is a very open man. He tells his wife Linnet everything breathed on by the green and the dust. He wishes that Linnet would reciprocate this ‘good practice’ by telling him everything in her heart and on her mind: thoughts, feelings, rumours, plans and intentions mention it. Linnet on the other hand appreciates John for claiming that he tells her everything that he knows but she doesn’t oblige him to because as far as Linnet is concerned, every human being has a right to their privacy especially that of their thoughts including their intentions. As such, John always accuses Linnet of being secretive and lacking openness in their relationship. John sometimes goes to the extent of insinuating that Linnet maybe doesn’t love him as much as he loves her.

My own reflections will be found in the questions below.

I have personally interacted with both couples and they both claim to love each other unconditionally.

I will not deny, these two couples intensified my curiosity about the subject of true and unconditional love and I have been thinking.

  1. What really happens when one party continuously gives what they think is their very best but they are met by a wall of stone?
  2. How far are people usually willing to go before they meet their turning points?
  3. How far are you yourself prepared to go before you meet your own turning point?
  4. Have you extensively reflected upon your core differences as human beings: talk of your hobbies, levels of education, professional differences, social backgrounds, personalities traits, emotional intelligence, life’s expectations etc and how they come into play in your relationship?
  5. How long was the courtship: are your expectations being met or you are in for the shock of your life?
  6. Have you thought about how far you can continue living like that: I mean both your mental and physical health?
  7. Is the quality of your relationship affecting you in any known or perhaps unknown ways?
  8. Could you be under thinking or overthinking everything?
  9. Are there joyful moments in your relationship or is it all heartache?
  10. Do the joyful moments outweigh the sad ones and visa versa?
Joyful/sad moments

Or does the sum of it all balance of perfectly so you feel that as much as your partner behaves in a certain way sometimes, you also have your own demons in the closet and that he does wonderful breakfasts, he caters to your emotional needs and you can live with his occasional mischiefs?

A balance is good in my opinion what do you think?

10. The major question summing up my reflections is about your awareness. Are you actively aware of the impact of your relationship on your life? (refer to question.8 above).

11. If you could choose your partner again, would you choose the same person whom you are with today?

12. What is your relationship with these three words’ sentences? #I love you, #I am sorry, #Please forgive me, #Can we talk, #I am listening, #Tell me more (I want to hear you out), #Can I help?

13. Is there anything that you yourself are doing wrongly which you need to change and do better for your relationship’s sake

14. Are you having higher expectations on your partner and forgetting your own responsibility?

(Don’t forget what they say, it takes two to tangle. A tangle is a dance of two just like a love affair).

I am always grateful for your reading, comment, like, following or share.

Susan Kazooba

DO NOT search for an Intimate Partner with only his Body on your Mind.

Just the other day I was speaking to an acquaintance. I am happy I did because the conversation inspired me to write this piece.

She asked me how my man was doing and I said as it was, alright.

She wondered when I would bring him to Uganda so that they could steal him!

I plainly asserted that my man couldn’t be stolen because he knew what he wanted and genuinely leaves no room for doubt.

But I suggested a joint acquaintance whom I knew could be stolen if she wanted a man for a gig.

His heart or wallet, I skipped the details.

Her response was a big, No-o-o.

And her reason was that he had a big belly.

Stomach men is a no go zone, she said.

Then I pointed to the fact that my man had a big belly too.

You want to know her response?

He has a belly, Oh my God! How did you end up with him?

You speak so highly of him. Then he must have a lot of money.

Truthfully, I laughed like an idiot, I couldn’t believe how shallow she was!

I wondered where to begin a long missed education.

But I had to start somewhere so I simply described what I wanted in a man: loving, kind, honest, funny, Intelligent, respectful, committed, working, with his feet on the ground and knows what he wants and the list could go on.

I laboured to explain that I am not for the cliche: tall, dark, handsome and to add, well-trained but if a man had no manners!

I mean, what good is a bunch of muscles if they aren’t wired to a brian?

An intended long term relationship must defy whimsical first sight attractions.

You must be kin to observe that which lies beneath the sparkling skin once the makeup is off.

I happen to know a sweet girl who fell upside down for a man she believed was the most futuristic she ever met and would ever meet only for him to turn her inside out when his absolute top secret wife and kids flew home from their other home in the USA.

Mr. futuristic confessed that the house she had been shown was just a guest wing of the main one. He openly told ‘the sweet girl’ that she had no right to set foot in his marital house so she didn’t have the whole picture. Imagine her shock!

I can draw countless scenarios but this text was not intended to exceed one page.

So my dear ladies, work, build yourselves and be the best women you could ever be. Forget the dependency mentality and attract dependable partners not parasites or users.

Catch you later.

Susan Kazooba

Inspiring Love

Human ties – Blood ties

Wherever I am, is your home because we are a family.

Whoever I am is stronger because of you.

Our social bond whether by friendship or blood is nothing in emergency situations.

I am a social animal, end of discussion.

Anyone willing to spend time with me on mutually respectful human terms, quickly ascends the ladder of friendship and family.

I will not spend a life time waiting upon my sisters and brothers to go out with me while neighbours beg me in vain.

My mom to show me that she loves and cares yet my friend’s mom perfectly plays the part!

I am here now and I need love, care and human prescence here and now.

I will allow the social order to continue sustaining itself.

In real time and space, consider it a social loan, and pay it back to the other humans around you.

Just know I love you to the zenith and don’t be jealous.

That is just life playing out its best💖

Humanity is in us all if we let it. It keeps on giving least we resist. Let it take you. Let it overpower you.

You can be a foster family to a homeless child.

You can be a sister or brother to an orphan.

You can feed a hungry begger even just for a day.

You can shelter a homeless man or woman even just for a night.

A begger won’t bit if you stop for him/her.

A hug and a smile to a stranger can change their view of people forever.

Do your part for the betterment of our planet.

Strengthen human ties now🤲🏿

Wounded but not Heart broken

What kind of a person are you?

You tell your friends that you broke my heart.

You think you have an audience but you are wrong.

The same people tell me that I made you who you are,

And that you’re nothing without me.

I taught you to walk.

You faked to run without my footprints laid before you.

I got a scar of your bad loving

But I am stronger without you.

So next time you meet your friends, tell then that you wounded and scarred me but I’m okay.

And I want you to be okay so you know what you missed!

Fact Checking

Note. If you need to stay awake the whole night just so your partner can spend a night at home, then I’ve got some advice for you. Leave that descendant of Abraham or Mohammad alone. Find a person who sleeps like a baby as long as s/he lies beside you. Dreams whole night long about the beauty and the morning delight of seeing your chocolate face in its most natural form, before make-up mess-up.

Unlike our forefathers, many men and women of our time make empty promises of love they don’t intend to keep.

They break hearts who pain i wish they knew.

__________________Susan Kazooba____________________

Forever

Unless you are a poor mathematician, why take forever to say yes to a person you wish to spend forever with? How many forever do you think you’ve got? Quit blindly trusting your calculator and save time today. Do what you should have done yesterday, to say the least!

______Susan Kazooba_____

Save an empty heart

Winds of love

shallow focus photography of two crowned crane
Photo by Min An on Pexels.com

Sometimes I feel that my heart gets lighter.

My feet lose the ground.

I get wings.

I feel strong winds coming, then I wonder!

If the winds of love blow me East, will you follow?

If they blow me West, will you follow?

If they blow me North, will you still follow?

If they blow me South, will you follow and stay?

Will your heart follow the winds of love?