From the depth of my heart!

We all have danced with shadows and dined with skeletons.
So I will cut to the chase.
If one praises themselves as your friend but never makes any sacrifice for you,
it’s a lie.

They haven’t bled a drop and they know nothing of the true feeling of friendship.
The same way is love.
If one so sweetly rings and sings of love.
So tightly holds and hugs your fears.
So warmly kisses and deeps to the depth.
If one repeatedly breaks your heart,
pleads for forgiveness and paints your sky blue with colors
But if one never takes any action to show you the real meaning of their words,
read my lips.
YOU ARE POURING YOUR HEART IN A HOLLOW POT.

Restrain Your Shopping Ego.

Act for Global Climate Change.

Do we really care more about today than we do about tomorrow? Are we that selfish to hurt even angels?

Imagine how many clothes, shoes and all accessories you have at home! Have you ever considered how much the environment would benefit if you restrained your shopping ego?

Let us be honest here. How many times have you shopped stuff that you regretted? As soon as you got back home, you realised that you could do without them or that you already had enough to serve the same purpose and more.

I know that it can be tricky to realise sometimes how you ended up buying that lousy blouse, the ugly shirt, those saggy pants and all.

I know a man who has over thirty pairs of shoes. But I mean, if they are all black and brown like in this man’s case, what difference does it make?

We have all met people who say they love shoes, others bags some say they just love shopping so no matter what they buy. We also have people who say they don’t know how they buy all the things that they buy.

Well, it can be on a totally normal day when you miss to say no to a friend who invites you to accompany her on a whimsical shopping spree.

Such a day was once for me Sunday 6th May 2018. I rose up and got out of  bed at 8.00 am, a bit earlier than my usual weekend time. I intended to go out for an early nature walk so I went straight to the toilet and did everything which people do there before my phone rang. I reached for it and it was my friend Madrin. We greeted each other good mornings and chatted a bit but it didn’t take long before she inquired if I would like to be her companion to Hede Fashion Outlet in Kungsbacka. In here usual assertive voice, she projected;

“Susan, would you be willing to come with me to Hede Fashion Outlet in Kungsbacka so that I can do some shopping? It would be nice because then we can take your car, talk and laugh this Sunday away (laughs). Of course I will pay for the fuel”.

Back then, I loved visiting shopping malls and I always seemed to be able to do so no matter how unwilling I was. At the time I was still living in the Kikås area of the beautiful Mölndal surrounded by nature: forests and five lakes all in a walkable distance. So I weighed in on my morning nature walk but I ended up choosing the shopping mall. I drove to Gothenburg, picked Madrin and off to Kungsbacka we flew.

While in Kungsbacka, I saw countless captivating dresses which could quence my undying love for pretty dresses. Madrin shopped all that she fancied. She threw countless things at me when she thought they could be for me but guess what, I resisted. I resisted with my last guts. My mind had been made up. And I wasn’t going to let someone else’s shopping day become mine any more. When I returned home eventually that afternoon, I felt relieved. I had triumphed. I had finally overcome my shoppamania and restrained my shopping ego for ever.

I mean there was definitely a reason why Madrin and I usually turned up to places only to find ourselves dressed in similar clothes. So I decided, no more running around shopping unnecessarily.

You too, your friend maybe has a shopping budget but do you? She has been planning over that for a while, but can you say the same? What are your priorities at the moment before you run around hopping on other people’s plans?

Stay focused and together let us save our planet. Restrain your shopping ego. I did mine.

Susan Kazooba

The Kindness of weather.

Who will feel the gentleness of the evening breeze on their face if not me?

They force me to sit in the house when the winter comes.

The darkness colonises, days and nights alike.

I hold back and freeze in the icy snow so strange to my feet.

My creative hands numbed. They fear nothing they touch could ever live again.

I freeze on the inside.

No one understands the depth of my heart.

So I doubt its presence in my chest even more.

For days, I tremble with fear.

October, november, December, January, Feb and sometimes March, my spirit longs.

It longs for warmth.

The embrace of my soulmate could do, but only to a certain limit until I long again.

So when the time comes, I cannot help but kick the fear and jump out under the blues with the lilies and peonies.

April, May, June, July, August and September, I fly around with the butterflies and my heart stuck in my palm to absorb the sun.

I need it to last for another half year so my soul claps and sings.

But for the moment, let the wind blow my skin and the sun kiss my lips and makes us one.

And let it rain on me for if not me then who?

Who will the wind blow and who will it shine on?

I thrive in the kindness of weather.

Susan Kazooba

The Limit to Unconditional Love.

Having questions about your relationship?

(There are many types of love but in this case I am referring to intimacy).

Love is as old as humanity itself and oftentimes, we believers in love promise to love unconditionally.

Through words and actions we convey our intentions and meaning of our promise of a true and enduring love.

A love that is not shaded by any stain of envy or jealousy, holding back or overreaction.

We promise absolute openness, unlimited support of our partners in all their endeavours.

We pledge to be good listeners.

We are by default, social and economic partners though by no means political but we cannot rule out the role of coincidence.

We promise to forgive and move on as if nothing ever happened or at least we imply it in our promise of unconditional love.

But what really happens to the good will and well intended promises that we believers assert especially in the early days of our meetings?

Please read the following two scenarios and reflect upon them. Think of the different ways they could be applied in your own life before you continue reading.

Scenario one:

Julian was seated in the kitchen reading Sartre’s existential philosophy when her boyfriend walked in and drew some water for drinking. Afterall he was already drawing water, she requested him to serve her a glass of water too. Julian’s boyfriend kept silent and simply walked out of the kitchen slamming the door behind him. Julian became sad and shouted aloud so that her boyfriend heard. “If it were me I would have served you water with pleasure even without you asking. I regret all those times that I have asked you if you wanted water or tea or whatever I was to have because you wouldn’t do the same for me even if I were dying.”

Scenario two:

John is a very open man. He tells his wife Linnet everything breathed on by the green and the dust. He wishes that Linnet would reciprocate this ‘good practice’ by telling him everything in her heart and on her mind: thoughts, feelings, rumours, plans and intentions mention it. Linnet on the other hand appreciates John for claiming that he tells her everything that he knows but she doesn’t oblige him to because as far as Linnet is concerned, every human being has a right to their privacy especially that of their thoughts including their intentions. As such, John always accuses Linnet of being secretive and lacking openness in their relationship. John sometimes goes to the extent of insinuating that Linnet maybe doesn’t love him as much as he loves her.

My own reflections will be found in the questions below.

I have personally interacted with both couples and they both claim to love each other unconditionally.

I will not deny, these two couples intensified my curiosity about the subject of true and unconditional love and I have been thinking.

  1. What really happens when one party continuously gives what they think is their very best but they are met by a wall of stone?
  2. How far are people usually willing to go before they meet their turning points?
  3. How far are you yourself prepared to go before you meet your own turning point?
  4. Have you extensively reflected upon your core differences as human beings: talk of your hobbies, levels of education, professional differences, social backgrounds, personalities traits, emotional intelligence, life’s expectations etc and how they come into play in your relationship?
  5. How long was the courtship: are your expectations being met or you are in for the shock of your life?
  6. Have you thought about how far you can continue living like that: I mean both your mental and physical health?
  7. Is the quality of your relationship affecting you in any known or perhaps unknown ways?
  8. Could you be under thinking or overthinking everything?
  9. Are there joyful moments in your relationship or is it all heartache?
  10. Do the joyful moments outweigh the sad ones and visa versa?
Joyful/sad moments

Or does the sum of it all balance of perfectly so you feel that as much as your partner behaves in a certain way sometimes, you also have your own demons in the closet and that he does wonderful breakfasts, he caters to your emotional needs and you can live with his occasional mischiefs?

A balance is good in my opinion what do you think?

10. The major question summing up my reflections is about your awareness. Are you actively aware of the impact of your relationship on your life? (refer to question.8 above).

11. If you could choose your partner again, would you choose the same person whom you are with today?

12. What is your relationship with these three words’ sentences? #I love you, #I am sorry, #Please forgive me, #Can we talk, #I am listening, #Tell me more (I want to hear you out), #Can I help?

13. Is there anything that you yourself are doing wrongly which you need to change and do better for your relationship’s sake

14. Are you having higher expectations on your partner and forgetting your own responsibility?

(Don’t forget what they say, it takes two to tangle. A tangle is a dance of two just like a love affair).

I am always grateful for your reading, comment, like, following or share.

Susan Kazooba

Love flows and floods

Love is what you feel when you are completely relaxed, unforced and effortless feelings of goodness tickle your heart.

They reach your brain, flow throughout your veins and in the end, they circurate your whole body.

When you feel blown away by emotions that you cannot help but laugh, with tears.

The circuration pushes your pours open. You are over flown by sweat, mucus, saliva and in extreme overwhem carbondioxide escapes out!

Unexpected fluids can gash out of your body too.

Honestly speaking, have you ever been colonised by love?

When that feeling comes, you have to be ready. You have to know the signs because you have to give way to them. 

If you didn’t know, the heart has a door which you must open and allow for the in and out-flow of love.

If the door is too hard and you can’t open it or your fail to open it in time, love will flow past you.

Love is like a river.

It’s determined, gentle and continous but if something happens to interupt along its way, say like delayed opening of the door or none opening, it will overflow, break brides and cause havock.

That is how floods, erosion, water falls and some landforms are created.

Mark you, a river can also totally divert its course and flow to another direction.

It can also divide its stream to flow in more than one directions, it can be seasonal and it can completely dry up.

With climate change, human action is at the centre of the rivers’ behaviour.

But I am curious about who you would blame, the human for his actions or the river for its behaviour?

The heart has a door and love is like a river. If you open your heart, it flows and floods.

By Kazooba Susan

Come get me

I’m out in the rain.
Here without you.
It washes off ma cloth.
I’m trembling inside
I can’t stand without you.

Come get me.
I’ll not resist.
All in ma bare skin.
Trembling inside.
It’s hard without you.

Your body on mine.                            

All on ma mind.                                     Touching me right.
Holding me tight.
Loosening inside
It’s all about you.

By Kazooba Susan

                                  

Hopeless Romantic

I am a hopeless romantic.

I believe in the wishper of sweet nothings.

I am in fact a bigger wishperer.

I believe in butterflies and in farytales.

I have nothing against dinning like a princess surrounded by Jasmines and roses.

I love flowers and to win me, you only buy me a rose.

I believe in love. The kind that will turn me left, right and centre but remain true.

I am a hopeless romantic.

By

Kazooba Susan

Winds of love

shallow focus photography of two crowned crane
Photo by Min An on Pexels.com

Sometimes I feel that my heart gets lighter.

My feet lose the ground.

I get wings.

I feel strong winds coming, then I wonder!

If the winds of love blow me East, will you follow?

If they blow me West, will you follow?

If they blow me North, will you still follow?

If they blow me South, will you follow and stay?

Will your heart follow the winds of love?