The Limit to Unconditional Love.

Having questions about your relationship?

(There are many types of love but in this case I am referring to intimacy).

Love is as old as humanity itself and oftentimes, we believers in love promise to love unconditionally.

Through words and actions we convey our intentions and meaning of our promise of a true and enduring love.

A love that is not shaded by any stain of envy or jealousy, holding back or overreaction.

We promise absolute openness, unlimited support of our partners in all their endeavours.

We pledge to be good listeners.

We are by default, social and economic partners though by no means political but we cannot rule out the role of coincidence.

We promise to forgive and move on as if nothing ever happened or at least we imply it in our promise of unconditional love.

But what really happens to the good will and well intended promises that we believers assert especially in the early days of our meetings?

Please read the following two scenarios and reflect upon them. Think of the different ways they could be applied in your own life before you continue reading.

Scenario one:

Julian was seated in the kitchen reading Sartre’s existential philosophy when her boyfriend walked in and drew some water for drinking. Afterall he was already drawing water, she requested him to serve her a glass of water too. Julian’s boyfriend kept silent and simply walked out of the kitchen slamming the door behind him. Julian became sad and shouted aloud so that her boyfriend heard. “If it were me I would have served you water with pleasure even without you asking. I regret all those times that I have asked you if you wanted water or tea or whatever I was to have because you wouldn’t do the same for me even if I were dying.”

Scenario two:

John is a very open man. He tells his wife Linnet everything breathed on by the green and the dust. He wishes that Linnet would reciprocate this ‘good practice’ by telling him everything in her heart and on her mind: thoughts, feelings, rumours, plans and intentions mention it. Linnet on the other hand appreciates John for claiming that he tells her everything that he knows but she doesn’t oblige him to because as far as Linnet is concerned, every human being has a right to their privacy especially that of their thoughts including their intentions. As such, John always accuses Linnet of being secretive and lacking openness in their relationship. John sometimes goes to the extent of insinuating that Linnet maybe doesn’t love him as much as he loves her.

My own reflections will be found in the questions below.

I have personally interacted with both couples and they both claim to love each other unconditionally.

I will not deny, these two couples intensified my curiosity about the subject of true and unconditional love and I have been thinking.

  1. What really happens when one party continuously gives what they think is their very best but they are met by a wall of stone?
  2. How far are people usually willing to go before they meet their turning points?
  3. How far are you yourself prepared to go before you meet your own turning point?
  4. Have you extensively reflected upon your core differences as human beings: talk of your hobbies, levels of education, professional differences, social backgrounds, personalities traits, emotional intelligence, life’s expectations etc and how they come into play in your relationship?
  5. How long was the courtship: are your expectations being met or you are in for the shock of your life?
  6. Have you thought about how far you can continue living like that: I mean both your mental and physical health?
  7. Is the quality of your relationship affecting you in any known or perhaps unknown ways?
  8. Could you be under thinking or overthinking everything?
  9. Are there joyful moments in your relationship or is it all heartache?
  10. Do the joyful moments outweigh the sad ones and visa versa?
Joyful/sad moments

Or does the sum of it all balance of perfectly so you feel that as much as your partner behaves in a certain way sometimes, you also have your own demons in the closet and that he does wonderful breakfasts, he caters to your emotional needs and you can live with his occasional mischiefs?

A balance is good in my opinion what do you think?

10. The major question summing up my reflections is about your awareness. Are you actively aware of the impact of your relationship on your life? (refer to question.8 above).

11. If you could choose your partner again, would you choose the same person whom you are with today?

12. What is your relationship with these three words’ sentences? #I love you, #I am sorry, #Please forgive me, #Can we talk, #I am listening, #Tell me more (I want to hear you out), #Can I help?

13. Is there anything that you yourself are doing wrongly which you need to change and do better for your relationship’s sake

14. Are you having higher expectations on your partner and forgetting your own responsibility?

(Don’t forget what they say, it takes two to tangle. A tangle is a dance of two just like a love affair).

I am always grateful for your reading, comment, like, following or share.

Susan Kazooba

18 thoughts on “The Limit to Unconditional Love.

  1. Nice story line. Good thoughts.
    But, look at it in three phases.
    Passion, production and compassion.

    In most times,at 40, we think we can start to re-correct life over again. I don’t agree to that.

    Regards.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for a great piece of work. I like your creative thinking. In the first scenario, Julia is sitting on a time bomb. Anytime, that man will show her his true colours and it will end in tears as it has been a trendy quotation on social media by internet in laws.
    In the second scenario, John is just worried for no good reason. You can never understand someone’s heart however much that person opens up. It’s only God who knows our hearts.
    To me, unconditional love is an ideal but in reality we have our conditions deep in our hearts. We are just humans. There are no angles on earth.

    Like

    1. Thank you for appreciating it my dear. Truth is, there are often more psycho-social issues which trigger such kind of reactions like silence, slamming doors and walking away. There maybe a longer journey to walk to come to the route of the problem. I advise seeking psychological help if the guy agrees to it.

      On unconditional love, i have received a lot of interesting private feedback from different people through other social medias and wall just like Madelane Mukwaya seem to agree with you that we have conditions even when they may not be spellt out. Our expectations set the perimeters within which our partners have to play their cards.

      Like

    2. Thanks for your answere πŸ€— Yeah, relationship is not easy and it needs to be talked about πŸ‘ŠπŸ»
      Meeting halfway, okeeey. I was reading and scanned it in general. And that was the words that came up in my mind. To be meeting halfwayπŸ‘‰πŸ» then We are talking about deep understanding and respect+ give and take πŸ™ŒπŸ» I believe. That level is not easy πŸ˜πŸ˜…
      (Magadalena Mukwaya)

      Like

  3. True love, doesn’t envy, it’s forgiving, trustworthy, slow to anger, it’s accepting, it’s kind, it’s patient, it doesn’t hurt……

    A couple in love & forever commitment will work to build or grow their relatuonship together, rather, than tear it down or let it grow old or weary….. But they renew it every morning.

    As a couple you all have to bring 50/50… Rather than letting the other party get the short end of the stick.

    Like

  4. Some good points to reflect on. As humans we really need to understand love from first principles. Love doesn’t keep offense and it weathers down all mountains.

    Like

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